By Elliott Brack
Editor and Publisher, GwinnettForum
NOV. 22, 2024 | How many times have you heard this from your childhood: “Don’t eat with your elbows on the table!”
This probably came when you were a small child, when you found elbows on the table almost natural. But you forever heard the stern words from a mother, grandmother or even an aunt, “Elbows off the table!” (For some reason, we can’t recall hearing it from a man.)
Now our foremothers may have not been familiar with Emily Post necessarily. Manners had probably been ingrained in them as children. But such instruction sticks in your head. And we bet if you have children, you have found yourself instructing your offspring.
We’re glad you did. Good manners is not only a practicing the social graces; it is a common courtesy to others.
- Say “please” when asking for something.
- And say “Thank you.”
- Don’t talk with your mouth full of food.
- Open the door for others, male and female. Don’t go in ahead of them.
- Offer a greeting when seeing someone.
- Give full attention to whoever is speaking.
- Especially when talking to individuals, maintain eye contact, a sign of respect.
- We were taught you take your hat off when you entered the house, and never, ever eat with your hat on.
- Don’t push and shove in a line. Show respect and wait your turn.
- (Bet you maybe can add items that particularly stayed with you.)
What brought these thoughts was when attending a luncheon recently. A well-dressed young man with a necktie and friendly personality had impressed several of us prior to eating. But the time the food arrived, his position was singular: he placed both his elbows on the table, and went after eating like a freight train on the loose.
Don’t know what others at the table were thinking, and perhaps it was that I was sitting opposite him, and perhaps had the best view. But his conduct was so obvious and a departure from normal manners! All during his meal, except when cutting his meat on his plate, both elbows were in position opposite his plate and the fork was used to shovel food into his mouth. The elbows seemed more like a contortion; how did they ever remain so firm on the table. Wasn’t that tiring to his elbows?
And let me repeat: otherwise, the young man, perhaps 22-25, was so charming and respectful. But the elbows told me that he didn’t have a loving grandmother or other person to admonish about his elbows when growing up.
We remember another incident of bad manners. A business friend and I were having lunch years ago for the first time. (He has since passed.) Before the food arrived, we were conversing nicely about different industry matters. But from the time our food arrived, something changed.
This businessman started shoveling food into his mouth at a nonstop pace. No longer was he friendly in discussion, calmly eating his food and conversing. Instead, he stopped all talk, and like an Army charging, did nothing but shovel, chew, eat, shovel, chew and eat. He finished his food well before I did, and started talking more later. But though the two of us maintained contact with one another, we never ate together again. It remained distinctly in my mind today, perhaps after 30 years.
That young man using his elbows is still in my mind today. Let’s hope he finds someone to point out, “No elbows on the table!”
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