By Elliott Brack
Editor and Publisher, GwinnettForum
JAN. 21, 2025 | At so many turns in American society today, you see ample evidence of uncivil behavior. You may see it in the grocery store, or on the roadway, in schools, yes, in almost every segment of our nation.
What are we talking about?
Google defines uncivil behavior in a society where “Uncivil behavior is rude, discourteous, and disrespectful, and it can cause distress to others. It can include verbal abuse, nonverbal abuse, and sexual harassment.” People exhibiting such behavior could simply be called “boors.” A more normal term might be “jerks.” You probably know or have heard of some.
Our nation was not always that way. Back in the day when civil behavior was more commonplace, Google defines that as “a way of interacting with others that is respectful, courteous, and considerate. It can help maintain positive social interactions and prevent bullying.”
No doubt each of us can easily point out those few among us who continually disappoint mankind by displaying constant uncivil behavior. When you know someone this way, your automatic response is not to have anything to do with them. After all, it’s obvious they were not brought up correctly.
Perhaps their parents were also jerks, or at least, didn’t raise them right. We also question if children brought up this way ever set foot inside a church. If they did, churchly considerations didn’t find much that stuck to them.
What are some of the ways you see uncivil behavior? We found several lists. Among them:
- Positioning oneself over others.
- Displaying a lack of regard for others.
- Addressing others in an unprofessional, disrespectful way-for example, talking down, using degrading remarks or tone of voice.
- Ignoring others (in person, telephone calls, emails, etc.); Paying little or no attention to others’ opinions.
One professional defined such activity as “…low-intensity deviant behavior with ambiguous intent to harm the target, in violation of workplace norms for mutual respect.”
Recognize some forms of uncivil behavior. That would include talking down to others; paying little attention to others’ opinions, and displaying a lack of regard for them.
Let’s turn it around and talk about the ways people who are kind and understanding behave in society. Here is one list of civil behavior we can cheer on for all of us:
- Being respectful: Treating others with dignity and respect, even if you don’t agree with them.
- Being considerate: Being aware of others’ feelings, concerns, and wishes.
- Being open: Listening actively and being open to others’ ideas.
- Being cooperative: Interacting with others in a cooperative way, rather than a confrontational one .
- Being honest: Communicating honestly and directly, and saying what you mean.
- Being polite: Using manners and courtesy, and speaking in a positive tone of voice.
- Being aware: Reading the room and knowing when to disengage from heated or awkward discussions.
You may have thought of several people who have popped into your mind as being among those you do not care for because they act in uncivil ways. For sure: they care not one dime what you think about them. When you run across such ill-mannered and discourteous people, stay away from them, have little to do with them. It’ll make you a better person not to associate with them.
Or if such a person is where you have to interact with them, such as a bad boss, limit the time you spend with them. Be respectful, but stay away as much as you can.
Some people are just downright difficult, often in many ways. Treat all with respect, but show your good upbringing by being civil to everyone.
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