By Alan Schneiberg
SUGAR HILL, Ga. | Old age has creeped up on me. So I wanted to share some thoughts about growing old that gives me a laugh. So here are some musings about growing old.
Schneiberg
“To get back to my youth I would do anything in the world, except exercise, get up early, or be respectable.” — Oscar Wilde.
“The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.” — Will Rogers.
“We must recognize that, as we grow older, we become like old cars – more and more repairs and replacements are necessary.” — C.S. Lewis.
“Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.” — Jennifer Yane.
“Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it.” — Golda Meir.
“I’m so old that my blood type is discontinued.” –– Bill Dane.
“The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened.” — Mark Twain.
“Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes, age just shows up all by itself.” — Tom Wilson.
“Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your retirement home.” — Phyllis Diller.
“I don’t plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet.” –– Rita Rudner.
“It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.” — Andy Rooney.
“I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me—they’re cramming for their final exam.” — George Carlin.
“I’m 59 and people call me middle-aged. How many 118-year-old men do you know?”— Barry Cryer.
“Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.” — Maurice Chevalier.
“Getting older. I used to be able to run a four-minute mile, bench press 380 pounds, and tell the truth.” — Conan O’Brien.
“I have reached an age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, I don’t have to.” — Albert Einstein.
“You know you are getting old when everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work.” — Hy Gardner.
“I’ve never known a person who lives to be 110 who is remarkable for anything else.” — Josh Billings.
“The idea is to die young as late as possible.” — Ashley Montagu.
“People ask me what I’d most appreciate getting for my 87th birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit.” — George Burns.
- Have a comment? Send to: elliott@brack.net
Follow Us